For you novices out there (ha, like I'm some kind of profi), wedding planning is not for the faint of heart. My suggestion is that you start by reading this blog entry!
Okay, so, you're getting married (or your friend/daughter/son/etc. is), first off: congratulations! Marriage is a wonderful commitment between two people to love, honour, cherish, and grow with each other; it's beautiful and, in my opinion, totally undermined by society, and celebrated in all the wrong ways by the rich and famous. But, this is your* day; if you only have $3,000, do what you can, and with support and help from those around you, you can make this work, trust me!
*you/your refers to you and your groom! He asked, you said yes - this was a joint decision, don't forget that!
I have to say, planning a wedding isn't nearly as difficult a task as I thought it would. But, I had the help of a fabulous book, called, "Your LDS Wedding Planner: A Guide to a Stunning Wedding", by Ann Louise Peterson. I found it on Amazon for about $15, and bought it straight away because I was freaking out since searches on the crazy interweb were yielding almost nothing (and that which was found tended to be out-dated)... well, unless I was willing to part with $10-15,000. Which, for the record, I'm not - unless I'm buying a gold-plated car, which I never will.
To make things easier on myself (how selfish!), I'm going to focus on a wedding as planned by a Latter-day Saint, since, well, I have no idea how someone who isn't a Latter-day Saint would plan their wedding - mine being the first I've ever planned. Let's face it, there's a ton out there about non-LDS weddings, anyway. With my Fiancé and I both being converts to the Church, and having no family, or only a few family members, who are members of the Church, when we put our heads together... well, we found dust-bunnies and about 18¢. That which we do know now was given to us by good friends and leaders.
Okay, my beginner's beginning-advice:
1. Write it down.
Write what down? Everything. Really. Writing down/drawing out any ideas you have is important. If you have an idea in the shower, don't wait! Get out of the shower and write that down! Seriously, I don't know how many ideas I've had and then forgotten, only to lament later that "I had an awesome idea for centerpieces but I can't remember it!"
2. Compile your lists
I suggest recycling an old school notebook you have laying around as opposed to going out and buying a new book. Personally, I went to a dollar store and bought a floppy sketch book so I could draw out any images that came to mind, as well. That said, devote a page or two to an aspect of the wedding, and then add your ideas to it. Some headings might be: "Colours/Invitations/Clothing/Dress (and/or Suits) and Accessories/Photographer/Videographer/Transportation/Decor/Food and Drinks," and so on.
3. Set Priorities
What's more important, getting out invitations, or acquiring your dress? Have you even set a date? Maybe you should do that! How badly do you care about your shoes matching your Maid of Honour and other Bridesmaids? Do you even want a Maid of Honour*? Have you decided what colours you want? Decide what the most important things are right now, and set to work on them.
*I highly suggest at least having a Maid of Honour, you'll feel less lonely in photos and plus, she is (and other Bridesmaids are) basically your Day Of slaves!
I'm just going to go ahead and tell you what I did first. This was my very first list, scribbled on a pre-used speech card (notice how I employed use of the first three steps):
Set a date
Book the temple
Dress, get it
And that was it! Setting a date wasn't too hard, I thought about what would be reasonable, in terms of the time required to plan out the kind of wedding Fiancé and I have thought about, and then I thought of some dates that are important to us. I asked him how he felt about July 9, we agreed it was a good date with some special meaning behind it, and after discussing dates with the temple secretaries, settled on July 10 (the closest day to ours that they perform live marriage sealings).
The dress... The dress is a more difficult decision to make (or at least, requires more thought and money), and deserving of its own post, so that will come next!
Congratulations again on your wedding, with some thought, some advice, a few lists (okay, a lot of lists), and a lot of research, plus the help of trusted loved ones, this day is going to be beautiful. Will it cause you stress? Absolutely. Will you cry? More than likely, and not just on the day, but before as well (I already have!). Can it be beautiful without breaking your bank? Yes! You cannot handle all of the planning yourself, I absolutely suggest sitting down with friends and family, together or in smaller settings, to ask them what they have, or had, imagined for their weddings. You'll feel the stress, even if you're not the sitting in the driver's seat planning it all, but there's a reason you and your Fiancé agreed to get married: you love each other, you're devoted to stick it out through the good and the bad, all the way through eternity. When the stress comes, and you want to break down, talk to your Fiancé, talk to your Heavenly Father. Heck, do it together, kneel down and pray for help! Ask that you'll be more willing or able to trust those around you with making decisions, because you can't, and shouldn't, do it all yourself; ask that you'll be able to carry the weight together; and most importantly, express your gratitude that Heavenly Father let you find each other, that He's pleased with your decision to marry one another, say thank you that, despite the momentary stress of a wedding, you get to be with that awesome guy for the rest of your life, and for forever afterward.
